Nothing ever prepares you for losing your best friend, your soul dog, your true companion. For me my dogs have always been my family, my grounding. They have always provided stability, absolute love, peace and happiness.
My life has been filled with many happy times and many tragic ones, but always by my side my girls have stood. I dedicated my life to them and I can see their love for me in their eyes every moment we are together. A dog is a being that loves you more than themself, they give all of their heart unconditionally.
I have been taught so many lessons, tomorrow is not guaranteed, have patience, don't sweat the small things, tomorrow is a new day, everything is temporary to name a few. If you take a moment to see life through a dog's eyes it is so different than what we see. They have so much joy to share with the world and exist to spread love. If you think about it, how amazing to wake up every day and just be happy to be next to your favorite person to start the day with, eat some good food, take a walk together or go for a car ride.
Dogs don't care if you are rich, live in a mansion, eat steak every day or even take a shower or brush your teeth, they just want to be with you. How selflessly they give us all of their being? They depend on us for protection, affection, nutrition and happiness.
And my commitment to them is to do the best I can every day no matter what comes our way. When Dakota got sick I made sure she had her meds, the proper diet and exercise. When Montana slipped a disc, I should have explored spinal surgery but there were risks, so I fitted her with her wheelchair and she got around with ease and was so happy. When Sedona's brain tumor presented itself I got her the medical attention she needed and we did the best we could for the time she was here.
I had people say you are crazy to spend all that money just put them down. Obviously these people never had a best friend love them. Like when something gets old we just throw them away? No we are there to the end. There to give back all the love we have been given through the years of a wonderful relationship.
Does it hurt? Yes a part of your being is ripped from your body, your heart shattered into a million pieces, a part of your life is gone forever never to return. The days following are quiet, there is an unavoidable void, an empty bed, bowls left unused, no nails taping across the floor. The silence is deafening. And if you have a sweet baby with your still you have to be strong for them, love and support them to get them through their best friend suddenly being gone. They do not understand all they know is there is an empty bed, no one to play with and their best friend's scent is fading away.
The days go by and some are easier than other, emotions come and go. You can be somewhere and something reminds you of your dog and the tears start welling up. And then some days anger for them being taken away. These are the waves of grief.
For me the hurt never goes away it is compartmentalized, I miss my girls equally, my heart is broken forever but I have space for my Sequoia and when the time is right we will welcome a new baby for her so she will not be alone.
But grieving is a part of life and we sign up for seeing our babies to the end and give them all we have as they do the same. With life being so busy we must remind ourselves there is a little being that just wants a moment of our time, for playtime, a treat or a simple bit of love because the day will come when they will not longer be here. Make the time.
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